


My Name on Your Lips

by Lavellington



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: First Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, oblivious!Dirk, some making out on a desk, thinking about kissing, will Todd's suffering ever end, wishes he was oblivious!Todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 12:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13524039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavellington/pseuds/Lavellington
Summary: "You did it!" he says, because Dirk's had a rough couple of weeks, so Todd will set him up for a patented finger snap. But instead, Dirk laughs, and then his fingers tighten on Todd's shoulders as he leans forward and kisses him firmly on the mouth.*In which Todd has a hard time, and Dirk is oblivious.





	My Name on Your Lips

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a [prompt](http://cinnamonlovesships.tumblr.com/post/170127957809/imagine-dirk-solving-the-case-and-kissing-todd) by [cinnamonlovesships](cinnamonlovesships.tumblr.com) on tumblr.
> 
> "Imagine Dirk solving the case and kissing Todd without thinking because he’s to happy to control himself and then he runs to tell Farah and Todd just stands there, shocked"
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

"Of _course_!" Dirk shouts, standing up so fast his chair topples over.

Todd's head jerks up from the pillow of his arms, his headache returning as his thin slumber melts away. He doesn't like napping at his desk, but it's been a long day at the end of a parade of long days, and they're both exhausted.

Just now though, Dirk looks rejuvenated, standing with his hands planted on his desk, one shirttail hanging out, ignoring his overturned chair and grinning wildly. Todd stands up too, poised to run after him if Dirk suddenly bolts out the door under the influence of whatever epiphany has him in its grip. Instead, Dirk starts pacing up and down the office, so Todd circles round to the front of his desk and perches on the edge, his body thrumming with anticipation.

"All this time," Dirk says, "we've been looking for the sister, under the assumption that she killed her brother-in-law and stole the hard drives. But the _license plates_ , Todd! The novelty license plates! "

Todd nods along as Dirk's monologue ramps up speed. Somewhere in the back of his mind he's thinking how strange this had seemed to him during their first case, and how much he's come to rely on it since–Dirk's ability to piece together seemingly disparate things into a complete picture.

Dirk's hands are flying all over the place, and he's getting wordy in the way that means he's triumphant, not panicked. His eyes are gleaming, and every now and then he stops pacing and turns back to Todd, inviting him to join his excitement. Todd couldn't stop grinning if his life depended on it.

"So it was a frame job," he says, when Dirk pauses for breath. "She killed her own husband, and framed her sister."

"Exactly!" Dirk grabs his shoulders, beaming. "Solved it!"

Todd laughs, feeling slightly giddy. This case has been less high drama than some of their previous ones, but it's been a long, slow grind, and it's dragged on for nearly two weeks now. He knew Dirk would come through, but he's still relieved. The air in the room feels lighter as Dirk grins at him.

"You did it!" he says, because Dirk's had a rough couple of weeks, so Todd will set him up for a patented finger snap. But instead, Dirk laughs, and then his fingers tighten on Todd's shoulders as he leans forward and kisses him firmly on the mouth.

Todd barely has time to react before Dirk pulls back, still grinning, and then he's a swirl of excited energy, grabbing his phone and his jacket and bouncing out of the room to find Farah. Todd sits on the edge of the desk, his brain replaying the last few seconds of his life on a loop. The images flash behind his eyes like one of those toy cameras that shows you pictures of the Coliseum: _click_ Dirk smiling at him and grabbing his shoulders. _click_ Dirk leaning closer so that Todd's eyes crossed trying to keep him in view. _click_ Dirk's face so close that all Todd could see was his right eyebrow and the curve of his ear as Dirk's lips landed on his.

_Click_

Dirk's lips

_Click–_

"Todd," Dirk says, poking his head back through the door of the office. "What on earth are you doing? Come quickly, we have to find Farah! She's walking into a trap!"

"Right," Todd says, blinking. He unfolds his arms and lurches to his feet. "Farah. Trap. Let's go."

Dirk gives him a weird look as he grabs his jacket and joins him, but then he's caught up in chattering about the case again as they charge down the stairs. Todd lets himself get swept along.

 

*

 

It's only when they get back to the office that evening, case solved and trap averted, that Todd remembers the kiss. The memory resurfaces with a jolt just as he's about to fall asleep sitting up, and he slips off his own hand with a strangled half-yell, nearly faceplanting on the desk.

Across the room, Dirk sits bolt upright on the blue couch.

"Whassit?" he says, rubbing his eyes. His hair is sticking together in clumps that remind Todd of the first time the Rowdy 3 cornered Dirk in his apartment. His mouth is slack, hanging open as he blinks over at Todd.

"Nothing," Todd says, staring at Dirk's mouth. "I just... slipped."

"Mmm," Dirk says, sinking back onto the couch. He pats the cushion next to him. "Come here."

"What?" Todd says, already half rising from his chair.

"Don't nap at your desk," Dirk says, his eyes already closed again. "It's not comfortable. It's going to give you a hunch. Not the useful kind."

Todd stumbles over to sit next to Dirk, swinging his feet up next to Dirk's on the coffee table and pulling a wrinkled blanket over both of them. Dirk wriggles down so that his head is resting on Todd's shoulder, and Todd feels himself start to drift under.

He tries not to think about Dirk's lips on his as he falls asleep.

 

*

 

Over the next week or so, Todd fails at this task more than once. He fails to _not_ think about Dirk's lips when he and Dirk go out for breakfast together, and Dirk tucks happily in to his customary pancakes and milkshake. He fails to _not_ think about Dirk's breath tickling his face when Dirk leans across him at his desk to snag a pen, grinning at him mischievously from very close range. He fails _spectacularly_ at not thinking about Dirk's mouth, and Dirk's neck, and Dirk's fingers, while half awake in the shower one morning, and comes, gasping, over his own hand before he's fully registered what exactly he's failing to not think about. He leans against the tiled wall, his forehead resting on his arm as his leg twitches and his breathing returns to normal, and thinks _Shit_.

 

Todd has always been sort of cagey, as any of his friends from college would tell you–once they ran out of more colourful adjectives. His instinct on discovering something this significant about himself is to curl in on top of it and hide it from view until he figures out what to do with it, or it goes away.

On the other hand, Todd has always been kind of an impulsive idiot when the mood strikes him. When the moon is full and he's had three and a half beers, and he's just played a set in a crappy bar with sticky floors, the adrenaline still pushing him forward. These are the moments when Todd usually kisses someone or starts a fight.

Todd likes to think that he's grown a lot since those days. He's less likely to get in fights now, or to go home with strangers from bars. He's also less cagey than he used to be–he's more comfortable with himself, more honest. He's more likely to just talk to his friends (assuming one of his two friends is available) than to swing between two extremes of drunken bravado and mute anxiety. But Dirk kissing him has brought the old fight or flight impulse back up again, and it's just a question of whether Todd's well-worn dishonesty or his reckless idiocy will finally get the upper hand.

"Todd!" Dirk says his name loudly, in his ear, and Todd, who was leaning back precariously and squinting idly at the ceiling, windmills his arms and manages to bring his chair crashing back down onto four legs without falling on his ass.

"Jesus, Dirk," he says, his heart pounding as he steadies himself on the table. "What is it?"

Dirk tuts at him, standing with his hips canted to one side, tossing a rubik's cube from hand to hand.

"I _said_ , do you want to go out? I'm going mad stuck in here with nothing to do. Let's go for coffee and pastries in that place you like."

Todd knows immediately the place Dirk means, and he also knows that if he goes there with Dirk, he will spend the next half hour squirming uncomfortably in his chair while Dirk licks his fingers and makes "mmm" noises over his pain au chocolat.

"Uhh..." he says, scratching his head.

"Come _on_ , Todd," Dirk whines. He sits on the edge of Todd's desk in a strange mirror of the moment that's been playing on a loop in Todd's head for over a week now. His thigh is about three inches from Todd's hand. "I'm bored. What if we're meant to go for pastries? What if it's a case?"

"Fine," Todd sighs, pushing his chair back and standing up. "Let's go."

Dirk perks up instantly, smiling at him, and Todd is very aware that he's just the right height to lean over and kiss that smile. For a wild half-second he almost does it, his body swaying minutely forwards–if _Dirk_ can go around kissing people with no warning, then why shouldn't _he_?–but he stops short and turns to get his jacket from the coat rack by the door.

This, he thinks, as he holds the office door open for Dirk, is going to end badly.

 

*

 

Over the next couple of weeks, Todd's confusion wins out, and he keeps his silence. The fantasies don't go away, but they fade to manageable levels, until he no longer feels uncomfortable sitting opposite his best friend while he sips tea, or catches M&Ms in his mouth, or chews on the end of his (or more often Todd's) pen.

He's not sure what to do with the fact that he's settled into a routine of daydreaming about Dirk kissing him. The initial kiss had been so brief that he's basically worn the memory out, and has moved onto inventing new scenarios. He imagines Dirk grabbing him with happy self-confidence, like he had in reality, planting his lips on Todd's–but this time, he imagines Dirk deepening the kiss, threading his hands through Todd's hair, bending Todd back across the desk–

He imagines too, Dirk kissing him more timidly, letting Todd take the lead, trembling under his hands as Todd tenderly loosens his tie–

He imagines Dirk lying on the blue couch with his head on Todd's shoulder, and slowly turning his head until his lips ghost over Todd's neck, his hand creeping under Todd's shirt as he inches closer–

Todd squeezes his eyes shut and comes, panting, chasing the phantom sensation of Dirk's lips on his skin. He's standing under the spray of the shower, shuddering, when a tiny, dangerous voice in his brain says, _need more data._

*

 

On some level, Todd is aware that a few months ago, he would freaked out about this. He would have agonised, he would have tried to talk himself out of it. But Dirk's kiss was so casual, and his own reaction has been creeping up on him so gradually, that he somehow mostly skirts the freakout and finds himself on a Thursday afternoon, sitting at his desk and idly musing over how to seduce his best friend.

Seduce may be the wrong word–obviously he only wants this if Dirk wants it too. This is something he's been thinking about more and more lately. He knows Dirk has had partners in the past, although not very many. Dirk isn't shy. He's dropped enough offhand remarks that Todd knows he's into sex the same way he's into food: he goes long stretches of time without remembering that it exists, and then indulges with unrestrained enthusiasm. The question is whether he wants to indulge with _Todd_. This part is a little trickier.

The fact that Dirk kissed him in the first place bodes well, as does the fact that he'd just solved a case at the time, and was therefore about as happy as Dirk ever gets. The fact that he didn't seem to notice himself doing it is less promising, but Todd thinks that if he gets a do over he can deliver something a little more memorable.

 _More memorable_ , he thinks bitterly. Dirk may not remember it at all, but the three seconds or so when Dirk's mouth was on his is seared onto Todd's brain. The daydreaming is starting to get out of control. He conjures up the memory of the brief, firm pressure again, like carefully unfolding a favourite photograph. He lets himself imagine that Dirk would _want_ him to do it again–that he would open up under Todd's mouth, would part his lips on a sigh–

"What are you thinking about so intently?" Dirk asks. Todd looks up and sees Dirk leaning back in his chair, feet propped up on his desk, squinting at Todd over the wonky origami swan he's trying to make. There are seventeen other swans, of varying degrees of swanlikeness, scattered over the desk.

Todd feels a corner of his mouth tug up fondly, and thinks, _screw it_.

"I want to try something," he says, carefully. "But I'm not sure how to go about it."

Dirk retracts his legs, feet thumping to the floor, and leans forward so his elbows are on his desk. He squashes at least three swans in the process.

"What is it?" he says, wriggling in his chair. Todd knows Dirk is bored, and would welcome the chance to solve an interesting problem. Unfortunately this problem, while potentially embarrassing and disastrous, is not particularly complex.

He stands up slowly, and walks over to Dirk. Once more, since it seems to have a kind of symmetry to it, he perches on the edge of the desk. Dirk leans back in his chair and looks up at him expectantly.

"You want to help?" Todd asks.

"Yes," Dirk says, "of course. Tell me what to do!"

"Close your eyes," Todd says, and Dirk does, immediately. The sight makes Todd shiver. Now or never.

He leans down, steadying Dirk's jaw with one hand, and kisses him, soft and deliberate. After weeks of replaying one brief kiss in his head over and over, he feels giddy at the fresh sensory input. He feels Dirk gasp, and tilts his head, deepening the kiss just enough to show intent. Dirk's mouth is hot and wet, and his breath tastes of tea and spearmint gum. He mouths at Dirk's bottom lip and pulls slowly away.

Dirk stays frozen in place for a good three seconds afterwards, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open, and then snaps back to life.

"You kissed me!" he says, bringing his own fingers up to touch his lips.

"Yeah," Todd says, rubbing his hands on his jeans. His burst of confidence is ebbing, and the impulse to flee is roaring back to life, stronger than ever.

Dirk's eyes widen.

"I kissed _you_!" he almost yells, gripping the arms of his desk chair and scraping it backwards across the wooden floor.

"Yep," Todd says. "I was wondering if you remembered that."

"I didn't–I didn't _mean_ to... I've only just–Why didn't you _say_ anything?" Dirk stops again, eyes narrowing. "Wait a minute. _You_ kissed _me_."

"Kinda feel like we're going round in circles, here," Todd says.

"You've been acting weird for weeks," Dirk says, slowly. "It was because I kissed you, and you... wanted to do it again?"

He looks at Todd hopefully. At least Todd _thinks_ that's what that expression is.

"Yeah," he says. "Hence me... you know. Doing it again. Is that okay?"

Dirk stares at him. His mouth is pink and shiny. Todd tries _very_ hard not to move, but the adrenaline is back, his body is screaming at him to do something, and if Dirk doesn't give him a signal soon that it's okay to kiss him again, Todd's just going to have to hurl himself out the nearest window.

He rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans again, and Dirk's eyes dart down to track the movement, and then drag slowly back up Todd's body to his face. Todd feels a prickling heat wash over him.

"Dirk," he chokes.

"Yes," Dirk says, shifting towards him in his chair, and Todd lunges forward and cups Dirk's face in his hands, bringing their mouths together again and again. He doesn't think he's ever been this worked up over kissing someone. He feels dizzy.

Dirk makes a noise and stands up, moving forward so that he's standing between Todd's legs, and Todd braces a foot on Dirk's chair as Dirk leans back in, his hands– _god_ –his hands buried in Todd's hair.

Todd sucks on Dirk's bottom lip, pulling him closer with hands fisted in his shirt, and suddenly tongues are involved, and that's... _god_ that's good. One of them makes a breathy, high-pitched noise, and Todd decides not to investigate the source any further.

"Is this..." Dirk pants, pulling away, "Is this what you've been thinking about over there all morning?"

"This is what I've been thinking about pretty continuously for the last 23 days," Todd says, touching Dirk's bottom lip with his thumb.

Dirk's eyes darken, and he bites down gently on Todd's thumb. Something behind Todd's eyes explodes in slow motion.

"I have three questions," Dirk murmurs, his lips moving against the pad of Todd's thumb. "Did your plans extend any further than this point, and if so, did they perhaps involve this desk?"

"Yes," Todd says, "and yes. And that's only two questions."

"Did you lock the door?" Dirk says, grinning at him, and Todd laughs, and kisses him again.


End file.
